I go out sailing once or twice a month now. My skills have drastically improved over the course of nearly two years since picking up this hobby. I still have some moments out on the water where things can become hectic by the intense wind that rushes in from the Pacific during the summer afternoons. Gusts of up to 30 knots and sustained winds of 15-25 knots (17-30mph) are normal in the summer. Small Craft Advisories are issued daily by the National Weather Service in the summer. This is why the Bay Area is a great place to sail, if you know what you’re doing.

There was a time when I feared the afternoon winds.

The gusts seemingly coming out of nowhere, would tip the boat over to an extreme heeled angle and then turn the boat to face directly into the wind, causing me to lose control. The sails would flap around deafeningly when this happened, adding to the chaos. I would fearfully turn the boat until I found a calm angle, letting out the main sail to reduce the heel of the boat. Even then, the wind had total control over me and my decisions. I could only react. And react hastily.

When this happened I would look out to the other ships sailing about on the water. They seemed to be having a great time. Why was it only me that couldn’t handle the heavy winds? I would try a little more to keep going, but the steep short waves crashing into me and the loss of steering seemed to be too much and I’d drop sail and motor back to the marina licking my wounds.

Then I learned about reefing. Which is reducing the amount of sail exposed to the wind. Basically not pulling the main sail all the way up, including the head sail. Doing this before the summer afternoon winds come has been a game changer for me. The boat maintains steering, the ride is much more comfortable, and I can be proactive.

Now I can sail anywhere in the bay, at any time, mindful of currents and tides of course, and not worry about the wind kicking my ass. The key is reefing before things get out of control. Trying to pull the sail down in heavy winds and choppy sea state is dangerous and not easy.

I’ve fallen in love with sailing now. I’d always enjoyed the sea. Especially after having served in the Navy aboard ships. My first time to Canada, Hawaii, Asia, and the Middle East, was by boat. Though the 300 foot long ships I served and lived aboard with 400 sailors are starkly different than the tiny thirty-ish foot boats I take out on the Bay to sail.

Still, the ocean has always called me. The vastness of it. The mystery of what might lay beneath the surface. The constant churning and ancient motion of the sea. I remember being a boy and standing at the beach in San Francisco and looking out westwards, wondering what lay beyond that thin line at the edge of the world. I remember being in the Navy, in the middle of the Indian Ocean, and looking all around seeing nothing. Nothing but horizon. Nothing but that liquid desert. I’d never felt so alone and small as I have in the middle of one of our oceans. I’ve never seen such beauty and plays on light as I have while traveling by sea.

So the ocean is where my heart lies. It’s no surprise sailing fits easily into place.

Harnessing the wind to pull and push you around wherever I could want is like discovering magic. I watch sailing videos, read sailing articles, read classics like The Long Way and Lin and Larry Pardey’s biographies, but probably more worrisome, I day dream about sailing. I simply can’t get enough of sailing.

There’s nothing like being on the water and feeling the wind pull you forward, like hands reaching out of thin air and grabbing you by the collar. Nothing like the sound of the waves as you cut through the water heeled over. I feel connected to those who have gone before me using the wind to move about. I have become a part of that ancient tradition of capturing wind. It’s a natural feeling, primordial almost. Like eating or sex or building with my hands. It just feels right. A missing puzzle piece to my life that I’ve stumbled upon.

How does sailing fit into my overall goal of wanting to retire early? Sailing and owning a boat are not cheap things. Currently, I sail through a sailing club, where I pay $300 a month to have unlimited access to a wide range of vessels to take out.

My plan was to quit the sailing club in 2024, so I could direct more money into my investments in preparation for 2025. But now I’m torn. I love sailing so much I can’t imagine not being able to sail anymore, but I also have this giant goal and dream to retire early I’m trying to steer towards.

Is it possible to successfully have two opposing things in life? Two things traveling in opposite directions? Why is it that the heart and mind never seem to settle on a single thing? Is it unreasonable to want what doesn’t fit into my master plan? Am I setting myself up for frustration?

2024 is supposed to be my “most frugal year ever”–at least this is how I thought about it. My plan is to take an ultra aggressive approach to saving money next year. Especially so, since this year I haven’t been able to save like years past.

In April of this year I reduced down my consistent 50% savings rate to 25% (my 401k is still maxed out). My $10K tax bill was the initial reason for my savings reduction. I’m also going to Europe in September. I’m turning 40 this year and have always wanted to turn 40 in another country. I turned 20 floating around in the middle of the Pacific. I turned 29 in Bangkok (okay not 30 but close enough). And since it seems like this is my tradition, I’m going to keep it up trying to be somewhere else every decade milestone of my life.

The thing is Europe is not cheap. I’ve been able to use credit card points to cover the flight over, but everything else has been adding up significantly. Instead of just hanging out in one country the entire time, like we did in 2021, this time we’ll be going to Germany, Ireland, and the UK. Catching Oktoberfest in Munich, and a West Ham United match in London, among other things. This will likely be our most expensive international travel trip ever.

I can afford it. It’s not like I’m borrowing money to pay for this trip. Traveling internationally once a year is a highlight and tradition for family. My oldest daughter is especially excited to see Germany, a place she’s interested in due to all the world war 2 movies I’ve conveniently had her watch her entire life.

Hence my low savings rate for the last 5 months. Yesterday I finally logged back onto Vanguard and upped the savings rate back to my original amount. My fingers are crossed that I can keep it at this rate through the year. Though I know that I have property taxes and home insurance coming up in November, then Christmas…then taxes.

In all, 2023 has felt like a savings failure. Which is why I’ve been adamant in my head that I’ll make up for it in 2024. And why sailing is on the chopping block. And my YouTubeTV subscription. And possibly no international travel next year. Pretty much all of my current luxuries will be getting a once over to see if we can do without in the name of retiring early and setting off for distant horizons. Why? Because I still believe in delayed gratification.

You might think with my reduced savings rate and being a member of a sailing club, that I’ve thrown in with the current fads in the personal finance community. But that’s not the case.

Wack Fads in FI?

I’m not sure why the wack trend in the FIRE community these days is to demonize frugality and saving discipline. A rush of books and figure heads have come out that have pushed this alternative FI thread that sacrificing and delayed gratification is somehow suddenly a bad thing.

Why the big change? The only reason why I can see this current FI fad is now a thing, is because those who are pushing it have already reaped the rewards of saving hardcore and enjoyed the bull market of the past decade. Plus, everyone is doing it, and talking about the same old points of traditional FIRE strategy gets boring real quick, so why not join in?

I’m not quite there yet. It’s not that I don’t subscribe to the Die With Zero, Remit, “new” Choose Fi, “new” Mr. Money Mustache etc. type sentiment that has taken over the space. I get it. They’re rich now. They made the right choices. Invested during the right time. They made–or make–income talking and writing about FIRE. I tip my hat to them. I just can’t identify with their mentality, not yet at least. Not till I’ve done it.

I feel like this new spend it all now fad is somehow undermining a key tenet of FIRE. Namely discipline.

I’ve written a bit about my internal struggle of spending “now” vs “tomorrow”. And of course, I favor a healthy balance. But I want to retire early, and I’m not going to be able to retire early if I don’t sacrifice a few things today for a better tomorrow. To make things more complicated, I don’t hate work like I have in years past. My commute is not too bad. I’m the boss at work, finally. The family is as happy as ever. I’m the only one seemingly wanting more than what I have. Which in a way feels selfish. It just highlights the downsides to this travel curse that has taken hold of my soul.

In all likelihood I’ll continue on with my sailing in 2024. Maybe even 2025 and beyond. There’s a strong possibility I buy a sailboat and set off through the golden gate and take a left south when it comes to my FIRE date. I’ll only be able to do that if I hold fast to my plan. Which for me, means getting back and staying with a 50% savings rate. Right now my FIRE strategy has been reefed, as I weather out the strong winds of my upcoming vacation and taxes. I do see the wind dying down up ahead, and the need for a reef in my FIRE plans looks unnecessary. It’s time to pull up the main sheet, put my head down and make my course for my next destination; wherever that is.