It dawned on me on my way to work one morning that I’ve stopped giving a damn about FIRE. Driving through the darkness of the early morning freeways, lights of the San Francisco skyline and bridges glistening out past the windows, podcast on the History of Byzantium blasting through the truck speakers, the thought popped into my mind that I don’t really need an exit off this freeway I’ve found myself cruising down. I don’t need FIRE anymore.

What do I mean by that? Well that part is hard to define. FIRE is very much a part of my life. The lens in which I view my world is through financial independence. The change is, I’ve simply stopped giving early retirement so much space in my mind. I’ve stopped dreaming about the day I put my final notice in at work. I’ve grown less attached to the idea of this freedom I was seeking through quitting work early and traveling the world; less attached to creating this drastic change in my life. And so whenever it was I stopped giving a fuck, I found the freedom I was searching for all along.

Freedom from FIRE?

No.

Freedom from an idea.

My net worth is at an all time high, as should yours be, dear reader. With all this over optimism in the market, I plan on buying more bonds in December as part of my regularly scheduled rebalancing plan. A plan which is still aiming for end of year 2026 or early 2027. But in being ahead and knowing I’ll still be working, I can spend a little bit more, save a little less, and know I’ll be good whenever I pull the FI trigger. I buy books all the time now. I take my family to the movie theaters and go out to restaurants. I can spend more than I used, and can feel good about the future, because I’ve sacrificed in the past.

This is the best way to go about the accumulation phase of FIRE, once the fundamentals are in place, stop thinking about FIRE. Forget about your FI Number. Stop yearning for the future. Time will pass by regardless of whether you save regularly, whether you think everyday about FIRE, whether you suffer because you want something you can’t have.

All of this is easy for me to say now, after years of struggle at work to get to a certain position and title, after years of dedicated investing, years of worrying and wanting something out of reach. It hasn’t been easy for me to get to a point in my financial journey where I can say I don’t give a damn anymore. Part of being able to say “I don’t care that much about retiring early” is knowing I’m on the winning side of a years long war that’s heading towards an end.

I’ve reached a certain FI enlightenment. A nirvana where I don’t want a life much different than that which I already have. I’m barreling towards Financial Independence without actually trying. The inertia of all the good discipline of the past is now carrying me away like a down hill run on a bike. Am I naive enough to think this is it? That I don’t need to be weary of falling off track or other struggles that might lay ahead? No, I’m conscious of where I’m at, what I do, what I spend. It just doesn’t feel like I’m trying anymore. My money has taken on a life of its own.

This shift in thinking has been a wonderful medicine to my ever anxious mind.

If I compare my unhappiest times to today, the biggest difference is my work situation. In 2020 and 2021, I was unbelievably unhappy at work. As much as I try, I can’t separate how I feel at work from how I feel about my life. And this work unhappiness trickled out into my life. Holed up in an office, working alone, mostly from home, doing things I didn’t truly like doing. I was so unhappy that all I could think of was doing something else with my life. That something else was early retirement. I escaped from my work by dreaming of no work. Dreaming of travel, dreaming of a distant freedom that was waiting for me down the road.

Flashing forward to today, nearing the end of 2024, I’m much happier at work. I don’t love it. But I’m not miserable.

The other difference is age. The cliche saying is that time passes faster the older you get. I only have a few more years with my daughters under my roof before they head off into adulthood. If I were to foolishly keep looking down the road for this magical FI Number, I’d miss out on my time with them.

I’ve always feared the comfort bubble, and the older I get, the more I realize why comfort is so tempting. Because it’s nice not having to worry! This is part of the reason why ‘one more year’, or in my case, two more years, suits me. A little extra padding will help me sleep at night.

Travel and Drinking

On an impulse, my wife and I decided to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary in Europe last month. We used credit card points for airline tickets…and we decided to leave the kids behind. This was the first time we’d ever taken a trip without the kids, and after doing it, I’m not sure I want to take a trip so far away again without them. Not that anything bad happened, just my idea of travel has changed now that I have kids. The best and funnest part of international travel for me these days is seeing new cultures and food through their young eyes. I kept wishing my kids were around so they could see or try whatever it was I was doing.

Still, we had a blast being adults overseas again. Eating out late. Stepping into bars as we pleased. Biking through city streets. Not having to worry about squeezing into crowded metros or catching late trains. Waking and sleeping when we wanted. It was definitely a good time, and something we needed as a couple.

The best deal on credit card points I found was a flight to Munich–again. So almost a year to the date, we flew back to Munich, just like we did in 2023. It almost felt like an annual trip, a tradition we’d just established. It helped that we’d just been to Munich, so we knew our way around the airport and metros. With no kids we hit up Oktoberfest, again, then shuttled around Europe with backpacks on our backs to Austria, Hungary and Spain squeezed into 10 days.

I’m finding out I really love Bavaria. The food, the scenery…the beer. I even picked up a few good German phrases that I used to order food and drinks, and ask where the bathrooms were. I topped it off with an entire exchange one morning asking for a sandwich and coffee and paying entirely in German.

Another amazing city was Budapest. Getting off the train in the center town, and having no expectations of what the city might look like is really the best way to enter a city.

With just the two of us, it was amazingly cheap, just 1.5k spent in those 10 days. So about $150 a day, which for western and central Europe isn’t bad.

Since the trip back to Munich felt very much circular, I decided that I would end my drinking in Europe the same way I started it back up in 2023. So with a large beer in the middle of Plaza Mayor in Madrid, I had my last beer (for a while) on my last day in Europe. This is something I’d been thinking of doing for a while, ever since I started up again last year. All of it felt right, almost exactly a year of drinking to make me realize I feel better being sober.

Really, I missed the discipline of saying no to alcohol. I like challenging myself, going to a social event and staying sober while everyone else drinks it up. I think I get a natural high when I think about how I stuck to my guns during a social event, and think about how great I feel the next morning when everyone else probably feels physically terrible.

Then there’s the savings of not buying beer–drinking really adds up, along with spending decisions under the influence. Truly though, the cost of beer is really low on my reasons for not drinking. A good time out costs money.

Lastly, the health aspect of abstaining cannot be beat. I want my forties to be dedicated to healthy living, and drinking just seems to take away from that.

In taking that sober break from 2019 to 2023, then drinking again in 2024, it’s helped me see that I like being sober better. I find sobriety has much in common with FIRE. The discipline. The delayed gratification. The feeling of being in control. The good feeling of being a good example to my daughters.

So for now, at least until I pop a bottle of champagne to celebrate quitting work for good, I’ve returned to the sober side.

Thanksgiving 2024

This year we traveled to my in-laws in the Central Valley for Thanksgiving. Not having to make the turkey this year was nice. I always get a bit stressed out about the turkey if it’s in my hands. In past years I’ve either smoked or fried the bird, luckily every time I’m responsible for the main protein of the night it’s come out pretty damn good (I should knock on wood now). This year we did make sides, and I spent the night before Thanksgiving as a sous chef prepping vegetables.

Again we put our Christmas lights and tree up a week early. I’m normally against getting Christmas started too soon, as it feels like the year is over the second my house is lit up. But I’ve been letting my daughters and wife talk me into it the last few years. I figure, there will be a day in the future when my kids aren’t asking me to put up lights…or when they aren’t even in the house anymore, why not let them indulge in their favorite holiday?

I ended up buying a new set of exterior Christmas lights for the house. The old ones are about a decade old and faded quite a bit. So I bought some fancy ones that change color and patterns. I also allowed my youngest daughter to choose a display for the yard, which we’ve never had before.

Since this post is coming out around Thanksgiving, here are a few things I’m grateful for this year. Gratuity always makes me feel better and helps me realize how good I have it and how lucky I am. I’ll avoid the cliche grateful topics like wife, kids, family, and health, those are ultra important and a given for me, but I’ll delve deeper here in this blog…

Wikipedia- I take for granted how often I use this website. I know not everything on this site is correct, but the site tries hard to be accurate. It’s free to use. There’s no advertisements on it. And pretty much anything I want to know has a subject written on it. How amazing is that! I’m old bought to remember that as a kid, if I had a question, I had to either: go to the library, trust what an adult says is true, or find an encyclopedia. No more. This website has to be one of the greatest human achievements this century.

My Boss at Work- So I’ve talked a lot of shit about work, corporations, and employers over the life of this blog. Right now, work is a necessary part of life–I can either be disgruntled or make the most of it. I’m grateful to have the bosses that I have who respect me and don’t micromanage me. I’m fortunate that my new boss, my direct manager, is the same person who hired me nearly 10 years ago and gave me a shot to be a superintendent. And is the same person who reached out and hired me back 2 years ago. He respects me and I respect him; that simple formula isn’t always present in a work situation and I’m happy for it. I always tell myself, I don’t work for my company, I work for my boss.

My Shoe Inserts- Two small plastic inserts that slip into my shoes and form an arch for my feet are magic. I’ve had the same pair since I was 18. They’ve been with me through my Navy years and every day and everywhere since. I’m flat footed and without my inserts, if I stand or walk for more than 30 minutes, I’m in misery. This pain has intensified in the last few years and I can’t even wear flip flops in the summer now. But my inserts instantly solve the pain. If I ever lost these inserts I’d be in a world of hurt physically and emotionally.

Index Funds- I’ll end on a financial note, since this is a personal finance blog. This one seems superficial, and maybe it is, but I’m damn grateful for index funds. How can it be that a blue collar middle class family man in California can buy a single share of an index fund, and at the same time buy thousands of small pieces of giant successful companies? Not only can I buy these shares of index funds, but if I buy enough of them, the value of what I’ve bought over a number years will be enough that I can then start to sell them to make money instead of working…that just doesn’t sound real sometimes.

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