Impatient Induced Frugality
We went this past weekend to buy a fire pit for our backyard. After browsing online through Amazon to get an idea of pricing and styles, we thought it might be nice to see a few in real life. So we went to Lowe’s where we found a decent one, albeit one we hadn’t previously looked at. It was in our price range. And after looking over their stock we told one of their workers that we’d like to purchase it. He told us he’d need a hand to get it down since they were stored on the top shelf.
The fire pit we’d chosen fit the style of our backyard, had a granite table for drinks around the flame, and looked to produce adequate heat. Everything we were looking for. Still, I felt the uncomfortable touch of rushing to a decision begin to manifest inside of my chest. I didn’t like making a choice with a salesperson next to me, even though I liked the pit. I felt as if I didn’t have time to truly decide on my own.
I fought this feeling away as we waited. Looking around at the other nice and unnecessary things I didn’t need for my backyard. String lights. Heaters. Fans. Fountains. Eventually we took a seat in one of the outdoor display couches and waited for the worker to return with his help. All around us the heavy flow of consumerism swirled about like a strong rip current ready to pull me away. I was in no danger of falling victim to it as I’d already strategically bitten the apple, really I was just being mindful of the moment. Watching all the other shoppers with their carts stacked perilously high with all sorts of goods. I knew that soon I would join them as I pushed a cart with a luxurious fire pit on it.
This space that the store associate gave us while we waited for his return, allowed my doubt over the purchase to fester. It seems as though every purchase of a good I’ve ever made in my life involving sums larger than $200 dollars always give me a bit of early and unwarranted buyers regret. Even if I come to love the item, such as the top of the line TV I’d purchased nearly 8 years ago or the outdoor dining table and bikes I bought last month, and especially so for my awesome Pioneer 5.1 surround sound system that’s still kicking since my purchase in 2003.
Not that I ever really over consumed on goods. Our couches are second hand bought from my sister in law. The new dining room table we did eventually buy was from Ikea—and took 5 years of having an empty dining room in our home. We only have one television in the house, in our living room. My weakness has always been high priced sporting events, plane tickets, and eating out; other than that, I like to avoid impulse purchases.
Yet, the longer we waited the more I felt certain that I wanted to look around at a few other stores and not buy the first nice fire pit I saw. Even if it was perfect. I’d sleep better at night that way. The moment I let the first syllable of discontent spill from my lips, Mrs. Disengaged said she knew what I was going to say. She questioned my urge to shop around some more if this was the pit we both liked.
It just didn’t feel right anymore.
Doubly so, since this man was taking near twenty minutes to return with his help. I felt less inclined to spend my money at a store that didn’t seem willing to help me spend it. Could this be a sign? This pause. This delay in indulging on luxury purchases.
So we left.
We went to another nearby store to see an even worse inventory and display of fire pits. Ah, union busting Amazon, this is why I still use your services despite my ill feelings on your practices. It’s just too convenient to buy exactly what you want, read reviews on it, and have it delivered in a few days time. Too convenient. The slight resistance I felt at Lowe’s was enough to sniff out my already self conscious consumer itch and ended up costing that company a molecule of a drop in their revenue bucket. This is the advantage that e-commerce has over their brick and mortar competitors, the only resistance to buying something online is the finger pressure needed to click or push on buy. And no lines. No people to deal with. Did I mention no lines?
My wife can get justifiably irritated by my easy change of heart when it comes to waiting around to pay money for something. If I put myself in her shoes I can see that yeah, okay, maybe we went through a big ol’ hassle of going to the store, looking around, asking for help…and all for nothing because of my impatience. We did both like the fire pit.
Was it really time wasted? Am I now…a consumer snob, unable to–God forbid–go to the store and buy things in person like the way its been done for centuries? I mean, I am technically a millennial, born in ’83, maybe its in my generational nature to complain about a 15 minute wait and having to settle on what’s only in stock. What’s next? Avocado toast and a crypto?
Okay, I kid about the avocado. I love that fruit. But not about the tulip like cryptocurrency fad.
That evening, after I returned home and was relaxing in my backyard browsing Amazon…again. I started to think about the true hassle it was going to Lowe’s and later on Home Depot. Consuming gasoline for the drive. Consuming my time looking for a store associate to help me, and then even more time waiting for him to return. 20 minutes we loitered in the patio furniture area and he never showed back up. I looked at the register lines on the way out and they were all ridiculously long. Yeah, social distancing has a way of making lines look longer than they actually are, but they were still 15 minute affairs in their own right.
Lines are my kryptonite. I’ll crumble over and fall if I have to wait in a long enough line. Not all lines are bad, so I shouldn’t stereotype here. I don’t mind a line if there’s fine food involved. But that’s about it.
I remember reading some years ago a fantastic article about waiting 72 hours to purchase something on the Frugalwoods blog. Not that it was the case here. The fire pit is more like a 72 month wait item for our family. Nothing near impulse. Even still, the space I received waiting around for help was enough to make me second guess my decision. So I bailed. And this is pretty much the story of my consumer life. Which is why other than a mortgage, we have only about $4K in low interest debt (wife’s old student loan) and that’s it. I can distinctly remember waiting in line to pay nearly $6K for new hardwood flooring in that exact store before taking flight. A few minutes in line gave me the space I needed to buy bamboo flooring for a third of the price. (And the bamboo has held up fantastic with two kids and a dog. No scratches.)
This is not to say I’ve always made smart money decisions, quite the contrary. I just have an embedded urge not to buy unnecessary goods unless I’ve thought long and hard about it, and don’t have to queue up. Not to mention it helps us live our high savings rate lifestyle.
It will probably be a few more weeks till we finally get the fire pit. We have a big camping trip planned to celebrate my youngest daughter S’s birthday. She’s turning 4. Another frugal decision rather than heading off to Disneyland or Mexico, which had been a topic for a few months now. This time it was Mrs. Disengaged who came to the rightful decision to save money on a flight and accommodations and do what we love. Camp, fish, and hike in the mountains.
We’ll likely be heading to the eastern Sierra, the Mammoth Lakes region. Which if you check out the images of the place, doesn’t seem at all like a bad trade off from paying hundreds of dollars to wait for hours in lines at Disneyland. One of the great annoyances of my life is waiting in lines, be it on a freeway 3 hours a day or in a home improvement store for twenty minutes. If I’m paying money for a luxury item, it better be a fast process, like ripping off a bandage. The more time a store gives me to think it over, the more I’ll likely decide that the money is better served in my brokerage account buying time back. The thought of paying extravagant sums of money just to wait in line, or worse yet, waiting in line to give my hard earned money away, will keep me a hesitant consumer for the near future. Maybe forever, if I’m lucky.
In other words, frugality can indeed be induced. In my case, its impatience that’ll bring it out, and this impatient induced frugality is a welcomed hindrance.
Do you still physically shop at stores? If you do, is there any benefit you see from it other than getting out of the house? Do lines bother you like they bother me or am I just a pampered millennial?
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i’m right there with you on shopping in public. i hate it. the worst part for me is the driving to the suburbs (which i am allergic to) and going into those big stores. thankfully mrs. smidlap is in charge of the garden and most outdoor decisions and she doesn’t mind making those trips and decisions. there are so many things related that keep me at home more the older i get. it’s not about the money but the feeling you describe. for any local friends i feel like “come on over and i’ll feed you and share all my wine, as long as i don’t have to leave the house!”
we bought our high end mattress last month and that was a bad experience even in an empty store with good employees. i wasn’t cut out for retail shopping. enjoy your camping trip. i think you made the right choice for now.
I know man. Shopping in crowds of people is something I hate. I love the holidays, but not stores that time of year if you know what I mean. I can’t just go shop around and endlessly browse stores. My wife already knows not to bring me shopping if its not going to be an in and out trip because I rush her. Yeah I know what you mean about staying in. I’m actually more of a home body than I realized, when the pandemic lock downs happened I took it easier than most people I know. Also my break from alcohol has taught me that going out to party was more of a drinking thing than anything.
We both aren’t cut out for retail shopping. But that’s not a bad thing in most regards. Thanks for commenting.
I am fully invested in this fire pit saga! How will it end!? I’ve been missing the in-store experience a little bit, until you described the lines and the crowds. I guess I’m just itching for things to get back to normal, even when they suck.
Haha I’m curious to see how this fire pit thing works out too! This is sort of my classic in and out dance ritual prior to buying “luxury” items for my house. Its been going on a while with the most trivial things, and my wife hates it, but hey it keeps me at a 50% savings rate for the most part, so I’m okay with it.
Fun tale. Thinking through this…I have a little trouble relating, but probably because I’m even further devoid of interest in big box store shopping. If interested in a fire pit, for example, I’d have shopped store inventory online ahead of time, checked pricing and reviews around the web, etc., before going. The store visit would have been for an online order pickup or perhaps to confirm dimensions or that I liked a style. In and out. Lines kill me too, but I think they’d already be part of the ‘calculated’ decision in this example.
I think this (my) mentality has its own way of being unhealthy, though. The chance for a serendipitous, useful, perhaps impulsive purchase is removed—sure—but maybe that’s not always a good thing. You do seem to love your speaker setup.
I also think that this mentality can spread in small ways to other areas which aren’t good. I don’t want to be discouraged from trying out an awesome local food spot when traveling just because I might need to queue for a bit and god forbid take in my surroundings or talk to who I am with. From your article, you probably wouldn’t since you enjoy food. And I probably wouldn’t skip it either. But perhaps it’s a little more likely as our brains overlap these ideas a little. Maybe we’d be unwilling to buy a beautiful craft found on the street side in some small town just because of a slow moving line as the owner takes time with each customer. Or we’d want to think hard about the price and it’d potential impact on our long term savings rate.
I think having a healthy consumer mindset matters in the long term, as a habit or routine, but sometimes I worry a little I’m skipping out on singular, special experiences or purchases because that routine takes over. And those one-offs aren’t going to affect your financial trajectory. It’s tough to balance.
Always insightful Noel, thanks.
Great perspective again Chris. You made me think of something I hadn’t really put together…and its that I’m trying to play both sides of: 1. the efficiency you have nailed down when it comes to retail buying and analyzing in depth the best option and 2. the spontaneous great finds that come with just showing up and buying what’s in stock(the joy of less choice). If you play both sides you can’t really win. I’ve found even with traveling I can go to the extreme of both with either super planning it out or just showing up with no reservations or agenda. I’m searching for a balance and having trouble playing the middle I guess.
Haha yeah I love that speaker system. It’s been through so much and is still kicking. The remote is duct taped together and one of the five speakers has blown. But it has movie theater like sound. I actually bought it with money saved on my first deployment in 2003. It’s a relic.
Oh man, you remind me of a wonderful famous restaurant I found in Penang Malaysia (Clearline Restaurant) by just joining an obscenely long line headed into an alley wafting in delicious smells. I had no idea at the time what it was lol. When I travel I always go to the most crowded food stalls/restaurants, never the ones with no line no matter what a guide book says, its my trick to not get sick. And then I just order what everyone else is getting. No thinking. Just going with the flow. But yes, I can see we look at the problem differently. Sometimes I think too much choice can cause stress–as you point to. You know, when I backpacked around I never bought a kindle because I used to like searching out English bookstores and buying only what they had in stock. I was forced to just deal with what they had, and I found some wonderful stories that way by incredible authors, in genres I don’t normally read. And interesting people in those stores.
Thanks for the comment, Chris. Very cerebral thoughts that I appreciate.
I like this idea of impatience as a result of line/waiting inducing a strain of frugality. Interesting. I’m like IF though, I want to know if/when you get the fire pit.
I despise retailing but still do it for certain items, specifically clothing. Unless it’s a basic t-shirt, ever single item of clothing g or shoes I bough online, I returned. Oh well, I don’t really buy a lot of clothes, so no big deal. I’m the same way about the second-guessing/advance remorse of big purchase. I’m looking at buying a new car and just observing my own behavior is GD hilarious. I’ll pull the trigger, but I’ll need to drag this sorry process out for a few months (or more) longer.
Yeah, its my silver lining to being an impatient spoiled millennial. I save money when I storm out of a store because of a 20 minute wait.
I’m with you about despising shopping and the culture around it. Funny that when I was younger I used to like aimlessly wandering stores and the malls. That was pre 21 though, once I found out about bars/clubs those mall days were over. I know, even when you can afford the nice new thing there’s that little voice telling you you don’t need it. Well I guess I’m in good company then if I have a similar flip flop process to buying nice things like you do. I’ve been talking about a fire pit and mattress for years. Even my bike purchase was a multi year affair. I’d enjoy a post about your car buying escapades.
Thanks for stopping by. Enjoyed your take.
The way I thought of it is “Getting rich through laziness” https://www.thehappiestteacher.com/post/get-rich-with-laziness
It’s a very similar idea, but it’s interesting that for one person it can be impatience, and another the lack of desire to do anything 🙂
Yes similar. Funny to think that we can use the technique to save money while others will use impatience and laziness as an excuse to spend more. Cool looking blog you have there. I’ll be checking it out. Thanks for swinging by.
Thanks! Keep up the great work!
I really liked this one – I’m going through the exact same thing. Hahaha.
We need a lot of stuff at the hew house, and this month has been cha-ching on my amazon card.
But first the fire-pit. There is nothing I love more than a wood burning fire. I bought a small little P.O.S. metal fire pit for $20 at a swap meet, and I have used that thing so many times over 10 years. My wife always jokes it’s the best thing I ever bought. Eventually, I want to put in one of those nice stone fire pit kits, but that will be way down the road.
If you’re going to use it a lot, don’t second guess that purchase and start enjoying it.
Like you, I don’t like going to stores period. But lately my life has been, Amazon, Lowes and Home Depot. I’ll compare them all, but usually I’ll use Amazon for non time sensitive stuff, and HD for quick house things. I know, 2-day prime is too long for me… hahaha.
Actually just bought a Weber grill off Amazon. I compared to both Lowes and HD – all were the same price. But I got 5% off at amazon with my credit card and delivery. It came on time, and was a great experience. Some people have been like – you bought a grill on Amazon? And I say yep, it worked out well.
I love the Sierras too – have a good trip when you go. I need to get out more and plan a camping trip.
Oh yeah, moving into a newly purchased house will definitely send you to the home improvement store. I’m with you on the pit. We figured it will make for a nice summer spending time as a fam around the pit out back so we’re finally gonna pull the trigger on one after many many months of debate. We enjoyed our new table out back so much that we decided we might actually use pit too.
Amazon is really the way to go. I’m a weber guy myself. They make such good grills. I have both the weber smoker and grill. They’re like swiss army knives and the craftsmanship is solid. Reading the reviews on Amazon is one of the best tools to buying the right thing, though sometimes the more options, the more stressful a purchase can be. I have the same problem picking a movie from my streaming services. Rough life I know….
I don’t know why i hate meandering around stores so much. I have flat feet too, and sometimes if I’m standing too long my feet start to hurt, at least that’s my excuse to rush my wife out of the store lol. I guess we’re not the only ones who hate going to stores by the comments…and the general demise of the brick and mortar stores. Yeah sierras are awesome. You guys have the nice beaches for camping that I’d be hitting up if I were in LA. I’ve driven down to santa barbara and carpinteria a few times to camp on the beach. Malibu has awesome camping too. I caught a lemon shark camping on a beach near Malibu once. There used to be an awesome restaurant on the One near malibu called Neptunes Net that has the best sea food.
Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it Q-FI.
I laughed as I read this post because I saw myself in it. Like you, I prefer reading a gazillion reviews before purchasing something, and I generally despise stores and the time they take out of my day. However, I also dislike the guessing games involved in buying something I haven’t seen or touched in person. So there’s always the risk of returning whatever it is I buy on Amazon. If it’s something large, I pretty
much avoid buying it on Amazon because it’s a pain to return. Plus, I’d rather give my money to a small business, not Jeff Bezos. That said, I also agonize over purchases, even small ones at times. I just don’t like collecting stuff and this habit helps me maintain fewer things in my home and no debt beyond my mortgage.
The mountains look way better than Disney! No long lines, no overpriced crap, no need to purchase every last Minnie Mouse you see. Enjoy the great outdoors! You’re saving not only money, but a lot of headaches this way!
How did we ever buy things before we could read reviews on the product? It’s almost revolutionary in that it makes you feel confident in your due diligence spending and it encourages us through social proof. I haven’t purchased too many large items on amazon, so luckily I haven’t had to go through the return process on a big item. It’s the convenience factor that Amazon and e-commerce has over brick and mortar competitors that is the golden ticket for those guys. Even someone like me who really wants to support local and small business, fall prey to the convenience factor.
Mountains over amusement parks any day. One day though I’ll have to bite the bullet again soon while my kids are still into princesses and wait in some ultra long lines lol. I hope too that I’m teaching my kids to have fun another way than through the well worn consumer culture icon. I do own DIS and am happy for their success, though I try not to be a blind consumer of theirs.
Thanks for the comment and your perspective!!